Last Valentine’s Day, Roberto and I fought. Hard.
In my mind, I had dropped plenty of hints that, while I think Valentine’s Day is bullshit — in theory — I would still gladly welcome heart shaped bullshit on the 14th.
Because that’s what people do.
Roberto was blindsided. In his mind, we both agreed that V-Day was a commercialized Hallmark holiday that put undue pressure on couples and singles alike. So he forgot about Valentine’s Day because, well, why remember it?
I can’t think of better foreshadowing for what would inevitably happen when we started planning our wedding a few months later. It wasn’t Roberto and I planning our One Day Wedding — it was a battle between me, my personal and political values, and Baby Rach (raised on Hallmark and Hershey’s). Baby Rach wanted a One Day Wedding because that’s what people do. And Beto and I almost gave her what she wanted.
But if grown up Rach learned anything from Valentine’s Day last year, what people do is often bullshit. Waiting for one socially approved day to show your love for someone and then fighting about it when it doesn’t live up to Hallmark standards is about as bullshit as it gets.
So why was I doing it again?
Back up the truck. Call the caterer. Let’s turn this whole thing around.
We started The One Year Wedding for the same reason that we stopped celebrating Valentine’s Day. Because one day isn’t enough. Love is a daily act or it’s bullshit. It’s just as simple as that.
And, wouldn’t you know it? The last 41 days have been our most romantic yet. Without the stress of having to front load all our love into One Day, we have fun coming up with endless non-bullshit ways to make each other smile. Here, I thought I was marrying a sap-less guy (before The One Year Wedding, romance was like squeezing water out of a rock) and in just five weeks time, the sap in our relationship could put maple syrup out of business. (Okay, I promise to never write anything like that ever again.)
Point is, Valentine’s Day sucks. Valentine’s Year, on the other hand? We’ll go with that.