The First Time I Married My Husband

The first time I married my husband Roberto was huddled in the rain, in the back of a Cancun wet bar, cross legged and shivering. Roberto grabbed the fallen tie from my $10 beach dress (which just happened to be white), wrapped it around his finger, and said:

Why should I wait another day to marry you? In my heart, you already are my wife. Let’s start our marriage today.

Spoiler alert: I said yes.

Now for the backstory: Roberto and I first officially said “yes” to a lifetime together in the spring of 2013. No proposals, no engagement rings — just a weekend at the beach to celebrate our choice to be partners. We set a date — March 8, 2014 — exactly four years from the day we met. And we began to plan a wedding. 

And that’s where it all went wrong.

Turns out, planning a wedding is about as romantic as a root canal. (On second thought, I’ll take the root canal.) What started as a “simple ceremony” quickly snowballed into a ridiculous wed-xtravaganza that, ultimately, had little to do with how we felt for each other and a lot more to do with everyone else: a wedding without the “we.”

In December, I traveled home to Chicago for my last single Christmas — a bridal bonanza of dress shopping, gift registries, and wedding showers — and I knew that something wasn’t right. When asked if I was excited about my big day (!?!) the answer was, well, no!  I found myself saying things like:

Nothing will change when we get married, anyway. The honeymoon is already over. The wedding is merely a day in our lives.

I complained about my groom to be. I whined about our wedding budget. I bitched about my bridesmaids. I went full out Bridezilla.

Where was Roberto in all of this? Back in our home in Mexico, sweetly abiding my matrimonial meltdown, all the while reminding me:

I want a wife, not a wedding.

And that brings us to the back of a wet bar in rainy Cancun — January 5, 2014 — when a soggy coverup became my wedding dress and I became Roberto’s wife. No wedding rings, no witnesses — just a weekend at the beach to celebrate our choice to be partners.

Only, this time we decided that one day wouldn’t do. And we asked ourselves:

What if we treat each day like our wedding day? What if get married every day for a year?

A lifelong adventure deserves more than a day. So we’re adding a few more — and inviting you to be our witnesses as we marry each other each day for the rest of 2014. Each day a new ceremony, each day a new vow, each day a new commitment to practice love as a verb. Will you join us?

Save the dates!


  1. We Love Dangerously: Choosing Each Other, Even When The Road Is Bumpy | The One Year Wedding - February 23, 2014

    […] The wet bar wedding in the rain. The alleyway wedding. The pajama weddings. The post-fight weddings. The “Why are we doing this, again?!” weddings. (Those are the best. So far, there’s nothing a “We do” can’t fix.) […]

  2. They Call It The 100 Day Itch (Okay, No They Don’t) | The One Year Wedding - April 20, 2014

    […] Then, there in the dark with all the feelings in tow, Roberto proposed. And I remember standing there in the rain, looking around me, feeling all of the feelings, watching as my useless emotional insurance trickled down the drain. Thinking, “Holy shit this is romantic.” Romantic because it was dark and bumpy — romantic because we both grabbed ahold of the compass in that moment and said, “Let’s do this. I want to navigate this shit storm with you.” […]

  3. The Last 99 Days: Bringin’ the One Year Wedding Home | The One Year Wedding - September 27, 2014

    […] had big weddings, small weddings, and itty bitty, teeny tiny, bite sized, microscopic weddings. We’ve been married with […]

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