The first time I married my husband Roberto was huddled in the rain, in the back of a Cancun wet bar, cross legged and shivering. Roberto grabbed the fallen tie from my $10 beach dress (which just happened to be white), wrapped it around his finger, and said:
Why should I wait another day to marry you? In my heart, you already are my wife. Let’s start our marriage today.
Spoiler alert: I said yes.
Now for the backstory: Roberto and I first officially said “yes” to a lifetime together in the spring of 2013. No proposals, no engagement rings — just a weekend at the beach to celebrate our choice to be partners. We set a date — March 8, 2014 — exactly four years from the day we met. And we began to plan a wedding.
And that’s where it all went wrong.
Turns out, planning a wedding is about as romantic as a root canal. (On second thought, I’ll take the root canal.) What started as a “simple ceremony” quickly snowballed into a ridiculous wed-xtravaganza that, ultimately, had little to do with how we felt for each other and a lot more to do with everyone else: a wedding without the “we.”
In December, I traveled home to Chicago for my last single Christmas — a bridal bonanza of dress shopping, gift registries, and wedding showers — and I knew that something wasn’t right. When asked if I was excited about my big day (!?!) the answer was, well, no! I found myself saying things like:
Nothing will change when we get married, anyway. The honeymoon is already over. The wedding is merely a day in our lives.
I complained about my groom to be. I whined about our wedding budget. I bitched about my bridesmaids. I went full out Bridezilla.
Where was Roberto in all of this? Back in our home in Mexico, sweetly abiding my matrimonial meltdown, all the while reminding me:
I want a wife, not a wedding.
And that brings us to the back of a wet bar in rainy Cancun — January 5, 2014 — when a soggy coverup became my wedding dress and I became Roberto’s wife. No wedding rings, no witnesses — just a weekend at the beach to celebrate our choice to be partners.
Only, this time we decided that one day wouldn’t do. And we asked ourselves:
What if we treat each day like our wedding day? What if get married every day for a year?
A lifelong adventure deserves more than a day. So we’re adding a few more — and inviting you to be our witnesses as we marry each other each day for the rest of 2014. Each day a new ceremony, each day a new vow, each day a new commitment to practice love as a verb. Will you join us?
Save the dates!