This is it — probably the one and only time Roberto and I will feel anything close to a “media frenzy.” Since our 74th wedding on HuffPost Live this past Wednesday, we’ve had an overwhelming tidal wave of attention that has knocked the wind out of us a tiny bit.
Sure, we anticipated some attention around the concept of a One Year Wedding — we thought it would be pretty cool to share an alternative message of love with a wider audience, so we rolled with it.
And sure, we anticipated some negative attention around our story, too. At our 63rd wedding, when Roberto explained the concept to his family and friends, he acknowledged that from the outside, we might look “crazy”, “stupid”, or in his case, “whipped” — no surprise that this adventure would be perceived that way in a world where patriarchy still runs the show.
But we certainly weren’t prepared for the overwhelming cynicism and hatred we experienced when our wedding hit the Huffington Post, paired with the sweeping assumption that Roberto is a victim in all this — that I am forcing him, gun to head, to marry me every day for a year, and that we’ll be divorced before the year is through. “I would rather eat bleach” was the last comment we read before shutting down the computer to spend a tech-free day together.
Yes, it hurts to read those comments. But what hurts the most aren’t the attacks on us, but what these comments reflect about how people around the world see love and partnership. It can’t possibly be that we love each other, that we are both enjoying this experience, and especially that Roberto is a willing participant. No, Roberto is a poor fool I dragged kicking and screaming into a 365 day wedding hell ride.
I wonder if these commenters would feel the same if Roberto and I switched personalities — if I were the quiet, calm force in the relationship and Roberto was bouncing with energy and talking a little too much.
Why is it so unbelievable to people that someone like Roberto would want to marry his partner every day for a year? (Hint. Starts with “sex”, ends with “ism.”)
In the end, haters gonna hate, but lovers gonna love — and whether you believe it or not, The One Year Wedding is something we both want to do and love doing for us — strengthening our relationship and communication, creating a daily habit of taking time for one another, and having fun, even in the midst of hectic work schedules and all of life’s chaos. And because I’m not into “forcing” Roberto to do things, I am responding on the blog instead of him — blogging isn’t his thing and that’s cool. But if you want Roberto’s take on The One Year Wedding, you’ll get a pretty good idea by watching our 63rd ceremony, where Roberto explained to our San Cris family and friends why we chose to do this.