The Secret To A Happy Marriage? Give No Shits About What “They” Think…

As the weeks go on (we’re up to 8 1/2 weeks and 61 weddings as of today) we’ve been loosening up and living into this experience with a little more freedom (and fun) each day. When we started this adventure on January 5, 2014, we frantically researched vows, ceremony types, and both traditional and non-traditional wedding customs from our Cancun hotel room. We — okay, I’m hiding behind Roberto again — I was worried that if we didn’t do The One Year Wedding “right” it would be criticized and poorly received by the nebulous cloud of They I had in my head.

I can’t lie, They are still in my head. Sometimes I wake up and they’re waiting with furrowed brow at the foot of my bed.

But, as Roberto counseled me on Monday — our 59th wedding day — I am learning to turn my attention away from the nebulous cloud of They, drink a big ol’ glass of Me Vale Madre (I don’t give a shit!), and just go with it.

In fact, if The One Year Wedding had a theme, it would be Just Go With It.

It’s funny because when we first dreamed up this idea, there were grand plans of 365 days of staged wedding experiences with elaborate props and costumes, but the reality has been very much like a rehearsal. Rarely, if ever, do we plan our weddings in advance. Instead, they happen at the odd times of the day when love is most needed — in the late hours of night after a busy work day, snuggled up and half asleep in bed, on the couch when tenderness surprises us.

Our vows are usually a reflection of what has gone on that day. A fight about doing the dishes? Promises to be patient and present for daily tasks work their way into the ceremony. A friend hands us some awesome wisdom? We repeat it to each other with a kiss and a ring. A big step forward in our business or personal goals? We celebrate with a special meal and a song.

Each day our wedding reveals itself to us and it’s always such a wonderful surprise.

Like Sunday’s wedding — #58 — when Roberto appeared on the patio with a YouTube karaoke playlist and we took turns singing our favorite medley of dorky hits to each other for an hour, unplanned. Check out the grand finale:

And, if They don’t like it? Well, me vale madre.

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