1. Wait a minute — what are you doing?
Starting January 5, 2014, we are getting married every day for a year. 365 weddings. One small ceremony a day. Here’s a video intro to The One Year Wedding, which we think says it best:
2. Who are you people?
We’re two crazy fools in love who think that one day isn’t enough! Rachael is originally from the suburbs of Chicago and Roberto from San Cristóbal de las Casas, where we live and work together. Learn more about us here.
3. Why are you doing this?
There are so many answers to that question — both personal and political — and we hope to break it down for you in a series of blogs throughout the year. (Here’s Rachael’s first attempt at the “Why?” in writing.) For now, here’s our best try at keeping it short and sweet, in video form. With a side dish of awkward. (Check out the 3:40 mark for a recap of our first 35 weddings.)
4. How did you meet?
We met salsa dancing here in San Cris. Roberto was on his way out of the country, so we met and said goodbye within a few weeks. Then, two years later, we bumped into each other again — salsa dancing! This time we paid attention. Friendship turned to romance, which took us from Germany to Mexico to Kenya and back again — and now to The One Year Wedding. It’s been a wild and wonderful ride.
5. What constitutes a “wedding”?
We have only one simple rule for each daily ceremony: no two weddings can be the same! And we make a point of creating (and then documenting) new vows for each wedding. Sometimes we have witnesses, sometimes not. Sometimes we have officiants, sometimes not. Sometimes we incorporate music, poetry, or a special meal into the experience, and sometimes it’s just us, the same pair of rings, and our words to each other. Each ceremony is simple and to the point (our weddings rarely last more than 10 minutes each) and always “come as you are.” That said, Rachael does have a special dress that she’s saving for the 365th wedding!
6. What have you done so far?
We’ve been married in the rain, on the beach, under the stars, in an alley, on a hill, in front of a cathedral, on the couch, in our garden, after a fight, with our dog, with our friends, with our family, with strangers, by candelight (and moonlight and sunlight). The list goes on. As we update this FAQ, we have celebrated 73 weddings. And the best way to get a glimpse is from the Q&A video above or our second video recap here:
7. If you don’t like “marriage”, why get married?
For the full answer to this question, check out this blog post: If A Tree Gets Married In the Forest Without a Priest or a Judge, Does It Still Make a Wedding? Yes, one of the reasons we canceled our March 8th wedding was because we realized we were repeating traditions not fully in line with our values. Many of the historical, political, and social bases for marriage don’t align with our approach to love, community, and relationships. So, we see this as a “marriage-xperiment,” in which we hope to live into partnership as a daily choice — love as a practice of freedom, not an exercise of property rights. We know we have a lot to learn about love and, this year, we commit to intentionally learning together every day.
8. Are you legally married?
Nope, not yet. While being legally married is on this year’s To Do list, we consider our partnership signed and sealed with our words and mutual commitment to one another alone. Plus, we’re waiting on Rachael’s birth certificate. Details…
9. What if you don’t want to get married on a particular day?
That’s part of the fun! Of course, we both have the freedom at any time to choose not to continue our partnership. And that is clear between both of us, married or not. Yet, our vows on Wedding #4 were to never let the sun go down on our anger, and we’ve taken those vows to heart. Our daily weddings have been miraculous in their ability to heal the aches and pains of partnership and also serve to remind us of the bigger “Why?” of our lives together. After 73 weddings, we both already feel that this experience has improved our relationship as partners — as well as with those around us.
10. Sounds expensive! How can you afford to get married every day?
When we decided to do The One Year Wedding, we slashed our big wedding budget so that we could focus on the simple ritual of choosing each other every day. We often use found objects from our home or where we are celebrating that day, giving new meaning to “ordinary” items. Typically, our weddings are “come as you are” — though, we purchased special attire for our 63rd ceremony, which came out to less than $50 for both of us. The way we see it, we would rather invest in our health and happiness, our business, and our community than an elaborate event.
11. Why don’t you get a job? Volunteer? Do something good for the world?
This question brought to you by Jimmy Fallon, who said as much when he trash talked us in his monologue on The Tonight Show on March 21, 2014! Ha!
Yes, we have jobs. No, we don’t sit around all day eating grapes and exchanging vows. And we hope The One Year Wedding will be a springboard for a lifetime of love and service together. In our spare time, we organize pro bono art and theater workshops with youth here in Mexico and around the world. Love is a verb and it doesn’t stop with the two of us! We hope to launch a non-profit arts organization, The One Heart Workshop, along with our partner Lynette Davis, before our year of weddings is up!
12. Do you take requests? Can I marry you?
Yes, yes, yes! Head on over to our Contact page with any questions, ideas, or more info on being a part of our weddings. You’re invited!